I read a verse today. It hit a spot in my heart.
"The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now that when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of the darkness and put on the armor of light" Romans 13:11-12.
I need to wake up. I need to realize that I am not going to be here forever. I need to start sharing since it is what God has asked of me. I love knowing my creator, knowing that he cares more about my problems that I do, knowing his plans are infinitely better than my own. That even though there are much bigger issues out there (Haiti, AIDS, world starvation) than my own problems, he cares about me and loves me so much that he sits down with me, talks to me about it, lets me vent, picks me up, carries me. Nothing is too big or to small. He asks us to throw our problems and worries and fears and hopes and dreams on him. And he LOVES to do it! He loves when we call on him, he loves to take on our problems, he loves to co-labor with us. He loves it when we tell him the secrets in our souls, he loves it when we truly share our hearts to Him, not just tell Him what we think He wants to hear. He wants us to wake up and to fully understand what we have in Him, who we truly are.
"Now if we are children, then we are heirs- heirs of God, and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory" Romans 8:17.
He is waiting for us to walk in our true identity. He is waiting to share His glory. He is waiting for us to realize that no matter what we have done, he has erased it. When we accept that, we become heirs. We become princes and princesses. Heaven is waiting for us. And its REAL. It is something that we will experience one day. It is not just a distant hope, but a place that awaits us. We all need to walk in the knowledge that we were created for something more than 100 years on this earth. Our identity is in Heaven. No matter who you are, or what you have done. There is no exception. There is no ifs, ands, or buts. We are all called to be royalty.
We need to get to know Jesus before we can share Him. How can we share something we don't know about? All those questions deep down that we have about Him, he is waiting to answer. All we need to do ask. So ask away. Ask all you want. Don't hold back. He already knows those questions, since he put them there, which means He has the answers. Now is the time to be asking questions. Now is the time to seek his face. There could never be a more perfect time! He is waiting.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
2 years ago, I hear about YWAM. I was distant from God.
1 Year ago, I thought more about YWAM. Still distant from God, and getting angry about it.
7 months ago, I was probably freaking out about packing for Kona, looking forward to a heart change.
4 months ago, I said goodbye to all my amazing friends from DTS, and took off for Haiti. I was much more aware of my Creator's presence in my life.
1 month ago, I stepped back into my life in Wheaton, Illinois. Completely different.
I still can't believe all that has taken place in my life in the past year. I was trying to decide what school I wanted to go to at this point down the road in 2010. Now here I stand, having gone to Hawaii, Haiti, and completely, fully, unashamedly in love. (and tan). The Lord has been so good to me. So much grace, it abounds to no end. I will never understand it. Ephesians 3:17-19 says it all. "..I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." We are called to be firmly rooted in love. Everything we do, everything we say, must be done out of love. We can only accomplish this by knowing the ultimate Love. Get to know Him, He won't let you down. Don't let your first try getting to know Him be your last try. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9.
He will reward our every effort to get to know Him. So I will continue to do so, all the rest of my days.
1 Year ago, I thought more about YWAM. Still distant from God, and getting angry about it.
7 months ago, I was probably freaking out about packing for Kona, looking forward to a heart change.
4 months ago, I said goodbye to all my amazing friends from DTS, and took off for Haiti. I was much more aware of my Creator's presence in my life.
1 month ago, I stepped back into my life in Wheaton, Illinois. Completely different.
I still can't believe all that has taken place in my life in the past year. I was trying to decide what school I wanted to go to at this point down the road in 2010. Now here I stand, having gone to Hawaii, Haiti, and completely, fully, unashamedly in love. (and tan). The Lord has been so good to me. So much grace, it abounds to no end. I will never understand it. Ephesians 3:17-19 says it all. "..I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." We are called to be firmly rooted in love. Everything we do, everything we say, must be done out of love. We can only accomplish this by knowing the ultimate Love. Get to know Him, He won't let you down. Don't let your first try getting to know Him be your last try. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9.
He will reward our every effort to get to know Him. So I will continue to do so, all the rest of my days.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Oh, hello 2011. What do you have in store for me this year?
20 days ago, I was hopping on a plane, leaving a beautiful sunny island and heading towards a wintry tundra, a.k.a Wheaton. I think my body went into shock the moment I stepped out of the airport. It has been so good seeing family and friends these last couple of weeks, catching up with them and seeing what is new in their lives.
As I was unpacking last night (yes, it has been 3 weeks and I have just now gotten around to unpacking), I came across my very first journal which started a year ago. I read some of the first entries...oh, how I have changed in the last year! It was like reading the thoughts of a completely different person. Someone who was lost, confused, angry, filled with self hatred, but was longing for something far greater. She didn't know how to achieve it. She knew she wanted to know God, to be loved by Him, to know Him, but she had no idea how to get there. She was out of faith, and running low on hope. The Lord heard her cry, and sent her packing to Kona, Hawaii. For 6 months, He had her to just Himself, with no distractions from back home. He showed her love in ways she didn't know possible. Gold dust, witnessing miracles, life-long/soul-deep friendships. He broke her wrong views of Him. He was not a little god, confined by time and emotions somewhere out in the universe. He was alive, He cared, He loved, He dances over her. He was not disappointed, He did not make a mistake, and He has a HUGE plan for her, even in the moments when she can't see it.
One of my big break through moments with Jesus was my last week in Haiti. I was having a bummer day so I was sitting outside looking at the dark sky spotted with stars, listening to "Do you know the way you move me" By Cory Asbury. As I was listening to it, something clicked in my brain. It seemed like the music stopped, Cory slowed, and he was speaking, not singing. "God is saying, do you know the way you move him? YOU. Not just human kind, but YOU. YOU, KRISTI, HIS BELOVED" And then the tears started. Then God showed me a picture of myself sitting at a table with a hundred M&M's (my best friend in Haiti). One of the M&M's fell of the table, but I didn't care because I still had 99. Then it switched to Jesus sitting at the table and a hundred people on it. One of the people walked off the edge, but Jesus flipped out and did everything he could to catch them, clean them up, and put them back on the table. He showed me through this that He loves us ALL the same amount, but shows us in different ways. That EACH AND EVERY ONE of us are dear and near to His heart. He uses the poor, the murderers, the sorcerers, the prostitutes, and the tax collectors in the Bible to demonstrate love, so I am no exception. This is the Jesus that I am in love with. The one who catches me when I fall, who brushes the dirt of my knees when I trip, and walks with me the rest of the journey to pick me up when I stumble (which will be a lot).
For the next few months, I will be nannying and doing various ministries. In April, I will once again be living on a big island in the middle of the ocean :) I am getting so excited for staffing. I already love these students, which sounds creepy but I have been praying tons for them, and the Father has given me His heart for them. I am excited to see them transform, just like I did. I am excited to be challenged and see how I myself will change.
Thank you for your love, prayers, and support. They mean more to me than you know :)
"But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy." Titus 3:4
As I was unpacking last night (yes, it has been 3 weeks and I have just now gotten around to unpacking), I came across my very first journal which started a year ago. I read some of the first entries...oh, how I have changed in the last year! It was like reading the thoughts of a completely different person. Someone who was lost, confused, angry, filled with self hatred, but was longing for something far greater. She didn't know how to achieve it. She knew she wanted to know God, to be loved by Him, to know Him, but she had no idea how to get there. She was out of faith, and running low on hope. The Lord heard her cry, and sent her packing to Kona, Hawaii. For 6 months, He had her to just Himself, with no distractions from back home. He showed her love in ways she didn't know possible. Gold dust, witnessing miracles, life-long/soul-deep friendships. He broke her wrong views of Him. He was not a little god, confined by time and emotions somewhere out in the universe. He was alive, He cared, He loved, He dances over her. He was not disappointed, He did not make a mistake, and He has a HUGE plan for her, even in the moments when she can't see it.
One of my big break through moments with Jesus was my last week in Haiti. I was having a bummer day so I was sitting outside looking at the dark sky spotted with stars, listening to "Do you know the way you move me" By Cory Asbury. As I was listening to it, something clicked in my brain. It seemed like the music stopped, Cory slowed, and he was speaking, not singing. "God is saying, do you know the way you move him? YOU. Not just human kind, but YOU. YOU, KRISTI, HIS BELOVED" And then the tears started. Then God showed me a picture of myself sitting at a table with a hundred M&M's (my best friend in Haiti). One of the M&M's fell of the table, but I didn't care because I still had 99. Then it switched to Jesus sitting at the table and a hundred people on it. One of the people walked off the edge, but Jesus flipped out and did everything he could to catch them, clean them up, and put them back on the table. He showed me through this that He loves us ALL the same amount, but shows us in different ways. That EACH AND EVERY ONE of us are dear and near to His heart. He uses the poor, the murderers, the sorcerers, the prostitutes, and the tax collectors in the Bible to demonstrate love, so I am no exception. This is the Jesus that I am in love with. The one who catches me when I fall, who brushes the dirt of my knees when I trip, and walks with me the rest of the journey to pick me up when I stumble (which will be a lot).
For the next few months, I will be nannying and doing various ministries. In April, I will once again be living on a big island in the middle of the ocean :) I am getting so excited for staffing. I already love these students, which sounds creepy but I have been praying tons for them, and the Father has given me His heart for them. I am excited to see them transform, just like I did. I am excited to be challenged and see how I myself will change.
Thank you for your love, prayers, and support. They mean more to me than you know :)
"But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy." Titus 3:4
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