God isn't just creepy, he is CRAZY

Hey folks, remember a few blogs ago when I said GOd was creepy in a good way? Well he is also crazy in a good way. Lets rewind a little to the beginning of the week...

Ok so Monday was the first day of classes here on campus for my DTS. Our school's leader's (Andrew York) brother, Philip York, was our first speaker and the topic was learning to hear God's voice. It was a VERY good lesson to learn. I learned things about myself and my own faith that I didn't know before. I learned how to hear God's voice and what to do with it. It is so crazy that if our heart and mind are in the right place our Heavenly Father will speak straight to us! On Monday we are going to find out our outreach places and apply what we learned. I know that I am easily influenced by the people around me so I hope that you all respect my decision to not tell anyone what the choices are until I figure out where I am supposed to go. I want this decision to be straight from God and not from the people around me. You are all wise and wonderful and I can't wait to tell you where I am going!!

So now we get down to the crazy part about God. This is probably going to be a long blog and going into deep stuff so now is your chance to stop reading if you want to. Ok, lets continue! Monday night worship. Boy oh boy. That night was not a whole campus worship, just our school and another school (Fire and Fragrance, Phase 2). Before I get into it, you need to know the things that I struggle with the most. The first thing is beauty, inside and out. I find it extremely hard to find my self beautiful and I am constantly putting myself down and comparing myself to others. The other thing is doubt. Every time I start to feel God, there is a nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that it isn't real. Now I know that is a lie from Satan. He knows doubt is an area of weakness for me and he feeds off of it. OK, back to worship time. So there I am, standing up but I am not really feeling it. The leaders are walking around and praying over the students and one woman, Chantal, comes up to me and starts to pray for me. She prayed that I would know that God loves me and He finds me beautiful and that he made no mistake when he made me the way he did. Of course by this time I was crying like a baby. When she was done praying with me, another leader, Sarah Jo, comes up to me and also starts to pray. She prayed that I would now that God thinks I am precious and that he WANTS me to keep asking those hard questions because he is going to answer me and by asking those hard questions, it brings up closer together. (Creepy because with the doubt I have I am CONSTANTLY asking God hard questions and i never feel like i am getting an answer). Basically, God showed up when I least expected it. It was feeling hurt and confused and angry and He totally used other people to show his love to me.

Ready for another crazy story? OK, so today is friday and it was our last lecture with Phil. But before phil spoke, we have a guest speaker for just like 15 minutes. His name is Bob Hartley and he is a prophet, which I had no idea are still around today. after he talked fora few minutes, he started to pro! and it was nuts! He started calling out people and telling them very specific things that they were going to do or something about them. And there is no way he could be faking this. One girl got here really late, like yesterday and she just decided to come this week so her name isn't anywhere here. And he just said "Rachel from North Carolina!" and then started speaking to her! he did this like 10 times! I had ever seen anything like it before.

I also had an amazing prayer time today with 2 leaders, Kat ad Haley, and my roommate Gaby. It was just really cool to coem together and pray for like an hour. Then I had my 1 on 1 (like a mentor session) with Erica, one of the leaders and that was good as well! Tomorrow I start my work duty. Its a long day (8 hours) of kitchen duty but it is only every other weekend so its really nice. Hopefully we will still get some beach time in :) That is all for now! Thanks again to all of you who have been praying for me and my school!

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ" Phillippians 3:8