Oh, hello 2011. What do you have in store for me this year?

20 days ago, I was hopping on a plane, leaving a beautiful sunny island and heading towards a wintry tundra, a.k.a Wheaton. I think my body went into shock the moment I stepped out of the airport. It has been so good seeing family and friends these last couple of weeks, catching up with them and seeing what is new in their lives.

As I was unpacking last night (yes, it has been 3 weeks and I have just now gotten around to unpacking), I came across my very first journal which started a year ago. I read some of the first entries...oh, how I have changed in the last year! It was like reading the thoughts of a completely different person. Someone who was lost, confused, angry, filled with self hatred, but was longing for something far greater. She didn't know how to achieve it. She knew she wanted to know God, to be loved by Him, to know Him, but she had no idea how to get there. She was out of faith, and running low on hope. The Lord heard her cry, and sent her packing to Kona, Hawaii. For 6 months, He had her to just Himself, with no distractions from back home. He showed her love in ways she didn't know possible. Gold dust, witnessing miracles, life-long/soul-deep friendships. He broke her wrong views of Him. He was not a little god, confined by time and emotions somewhere out in the universe. He was alive, He cared, He loved, He dances over her. He was not disappointed, He did not make a mistake, and He has a HUGE plan for her, even in the moments when she can't see it.

One of my big break through moments with Jesus was my last week in Haiti. I was having a bummer day so I was sitting outside looking at the dark sky spotted with stars, listening to "Do you know the way you move me" By Cory Asbury. As I was listening to it, something clicked in my brain. It seemed like the music stopped, Cory slowed, and he was speaking, not singing. "God is saying, do you know the way you move him? YOU. Not just human kind, but YOU. YOU, KRISTI, HIS BELOVED" And then the tears started. Then God showed me a picture of myself sitting at a table with a hundred M&M's (my best friend in Haiti). One of the M&M's fell of the table, but I didn't care because I still had 99. Then it switched to Jesus sitting at the table and a hundred people on it. One of the people walked off the edge, but Jesus flipped out and did everything he could to catch them, clean them up, and put them back on the table. He showed me through this that He loves us ALL the same amount, but shows us in different ways. That EACH AND EVERY ONE of us are dear and near to His heart. He uses the poor, the murderers, the sorcerers, the prostitutes, and the tax collectors in the Bible to demonstrate love, so I am no exception. This is the Jesus that I am in love with. The one who catches me when I fall, who brushes the dirt of my knees when I trip, and walks with me the rest of the journey to pick me up when I stumble (which will be a lot).

For the next few months, I will be nannying and doing various ministries. In April, I will once again be living on a big island in the middle of the ocean :) I am getting so excited for staffing. I already love these students, which sounds creepy but I have been praying tons for them, and the Father has given me His heart for them. I am excited to see them transform, just like I did. I am excited to be challenged and see how I myself will change.

Thank you for your love, prayers, and support. They mean more to me than you know :)

"But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy." Titus 3:4