This week, God is showing me how comfortable my life is. Right now, I barely have anything to worry about. I have a good life. I have kick-butt parents. I love my siblings. I have awesome friends. I have a relatively cush job. I live in a nice home, I have a nice car, I have people who care about me and love me. Overall, I am pretty darn blessed. Besides my brief stint away at college, I have been pretty comfortable. That isn't going to last long.
I have come to realize that I like my life here in Wheaton. I like my job, I like babysitting, I like hanging out with my family, I like seeing my friends whenever I want to, I like to shop, and I like Caribou. Soon, I will not be able to do these things. And even though it is lame, it is starting to freak me out. In less than 5 short weeks, I can no long see my family everyday, hang out with my friends, go out to eat at my favorite places, or drive my pretty red jeep. True, I'll be living in Hawaii, but I have become so used to my life here in good old Wheaton, that I am surprisingly finding it hard to let go (I never in my life thought that I would be sad to leave Wheaton for Hawaii).
This is going to be the first time in my life where I am completely on my own. Yes, I went away to college but I had freaking awesome roommates and I could come home whenever I wanted to. That won't be an option at YWAM. I am going to have to throw myself out there into a group of people all over the world (not quite the same as college). That is where God is already showing me that I am going to be thrown out of my little comfort circle. I am pretty easy going, but I generally do not put myself out there. I am still totally pumped for YWAM because I know that this is EXACTLY where God wants me right now, but to be honest, I am still a little freaked about leaving my comfort circle. I will totally have to depend on God. I have before but I also had my family and friends right there with me, but not this time. I have found that I am already growing closer to God just by talking about my fears and I CAN NOT WAIT to find out what else He has in store for me :)
There are a few things that you can be praying for, if you wish.
1-That I not let fear consume me but that I put my self out there to make the most of my YWAM experience.
2-That I am completely open my heart to what God has to show me and that I am not afraid to do what He asks of me
3- That support keeps coming in for me and my fellow YWAMers
SUPPORT NEWS: I now have over 6,000 of the 10,000 dollars that I need, PTL! Over 2,000 of it has come from support letters that I have sent out which is more than I ever hoped for. Thank you to all who have supported me financially and prayers!
Psalms 23:4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for you are with me"
Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the LORD your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear, for I will help you'"
Deuteronomy 31:8 "It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed"
While our circumstances are different, I totally know what you mean about preparing to leave Wheaton. I am so proud of you for becoming a part of YWAM and know it's going to stretch and grow you in so many amazing ways. You will never regret this decision! At the same time, make the most of your days left in Wheaton, soak it all in, and when the time comes to say goodbye, remember that you have God to lean on. He will help you get through the transition time more than anything else.
ReplyDeleteKristi, It's going to be AWESOME! If anyone can do it, I know you can... I wouldn't have written your letter of recommendation otherwise ;) You are the exact type of person that I can see exceeding beyond belief in unknown and anxiety-producing circumstances. You are STRONG, courageous, adventurous, and you have a huge heart - God made you that way for a reason, to take risks like this. I'm SO proud of you for doing it, and I really think it's going to blow your mind.
ReplyDeleteTo put your mind at ease, Hawaii is one of the most gorgeous places on Earth, and although Caribou hasn't branched out to the Pacific yet, there are plenty of Starbucks around. In such ridiculously amazing surroundings of beautiful, pure nature, you can't help but feel totally overwhelmed by God's love and amazed by His creation. You are going to LOVE it, and I know that you will meet life-long friends through this experience. I love you girl!