A revelation that has been hitting me over and over these past 4 months has been that I am a daughter and nothing more, nothing less. Not only that I am a daughter, but there is absolutely nothing in all of eternity that can strip me of this. It's not a job, it's not a label, it's just what I am. I do not need to earn it, I do not need to strive to keep it, I do not have to worry about losing it. This is something that I have always known, but He keeps taking me deeper into this beautiful place in His heart.

The more He shows me that I am His daughter, the more I want to know Him. The more I want to be with Him. The more I desire to see Him. This supernatural hunger for Him has settled on my heart, and I can't get enough of Him. This burning for Him has driven me to a place of intimacy with the Lord, where my heart connects with His. The world has taken the word "intimacy" and twisted it into something sensual. The correct definition of intimacy is "close familiarity or friendship." The Father is SO GOOD! As much as I want to grow closer to Him more, He wants it a million times more. To rest in this fact will brings so much peace, love, and contentment.

The school has lit on fire and is continually having fuel thrown on it. After a speaker cancelled last week, we had a 50 hour burn of straight worship and prayer, pressing in and seeking Jesus. THe Lord broke so many boxes, it was insane. So much dancing, worship, and laughter. The Lord loves have fun.

Our Cambodia team has been marked with family, they are all amazing!!! We grow closer every week as we gain God's heart for Cambodia. We will be leaving in a month to go to Cambodia and we are getting so excited to see God move there. PLease be keeping us in your prayers as we get ready to leave, thank you so much!

"where you cease, I will begin"

What once began as a simple pluck on my heart strings to grow near Him, has turned into a pull. That pull has drawn me in deep. Deep into Him, deep into intimacy, deep into His presence.

The simple concepts that He wants to show me end up being the very things I complicate the most. Being a daughter to the Father turned into a place of striving and fear of disappointing. It became something organized, my own agenda. Instead of being led by His spirit, I created my own check list that I was sure would take me deeper into His heart. What I thought would bring me closer only lead to a place of being unrestful, unsatisfied, and frustrated.

We were in a time of worship last Friday as a class, and I was going through an internal battle of not being able to tap into the presence that I knew lived in me. I couldn't focus, my mind was scattered, and my heart began to harden a bit. Towards the end, we all laid on the ground to just soak to the music that was being played. I told the Lord that I gave up trying to get closer to Him. I tried everything. I read the right verses, prayed the right words and yet I didn't seem to be where I wanted to be. That was when He spoke. "My Daughter, stop. Only I can take you to those Heavenly places. You can't. So stop, and let me. I want it even more than you, so let me do the work"

It was then that I realized how I had taken my relationship with the Lord into my own hands. I knew where I stood with Him, I knew where I wanted to go deeper, and I thought I knew the best way to achieve that. The desire to be nearer to Him was real, but in striving, I forgot my first and only identity of being His daughter. As I laid on the classroom floor, He showed me a picture of a wall. Not a flimsy drywall, but a thick rock wall held together by concrete. The moment I stopped doing my own thing was when He was able to break a hole into that wall. As the light shone through that broken rock wall, I felt His peace wash over me.

He has spoken so clearly to me a phrase over and over this weekend "Where you cease, I will begin." Where I cease striving, He begins. Where I cease my own agenda, He begins. Where I cease control, He begins.

The students are here and they have hit the ground running! God showed up in amazing ways this first week. We have over 80 students in the school, and none of them are holding back, they are just going for it! It has been so encouraging to see and it boosts me forward in my own faith. Last Saturday we had a party for them just to hang out and get to know each other. It was fun to see them all get to know each other, but the best part was that the Lord just showed up. Day 2, and we ended a party with an amazing worship sessions where you could tangibly feel God's love.

Yesterday, we announce outreach teams, ahhh! Myself and the incredible Chris Little will be leading 10 fabulous, rad, amazing students to Cambodia in september. We feel the joy of the Lord all over our team, and I am SOOOOOOO excited to see how He is going to use us while we are there.

God has been doing such a deep work in me, I can not even fully express it in words, which can be so frustrating. It is so deep that my mind can not even fully understand what is going on. All I know is that it is a good thing, slowly anchoring my faith deeper and deeper in Him. Some day my mind will catchup to what is going on in my soul, but until then, I am just learning to rest and trust in Him.

Please continue to pray for the outpouring of God's love and grace on our class as we head into our first week of lectures. God is going to do so much with this class, and I am so excited to see where we will all be in just 6 months :)

Love you all,

Kristi

Sorry, y'all, for the lack of updating! Life back on the big island has been crazy busy, yet so so so good. Here are a few things that have been going on...

Our Awaken staff family is growing and going strong. We spent the earlier half of this week at the YWAM Makapala retreat on the north side of the island together. The time we spent in prayer, worship, sharing testimonies, and just having fun brought us closer together and to the Lord.

Makapala Sunset

I have prayed for passion for Jesus for so long, and I am finally receiving what I have asked for. And now that it is here, I don't know what to do with myself. When the Lord places you in a group of people passionately pursuing God, He is going to bring stuff up in your life that He wants you to work on because you are with people that He trusts to help you walk it out. Some nasty junk in my heart came bubbling up to the surface the last couple of weeks that I had been pushing down for quite some time now. It's ugly and gross and icky and I didn't want to see it, so I shoved it down deep so no one, not even myself, could see it. But it's still there. I know it, and God sees it. He has called me to a higher standard, to be refined like the gold, and to do that, He needs to pull all that stuff to the surface to wipe it away. I am so grateful for all that He has done in my life, especially in the last year. The supernatural desire I have to just know Him is being filled, which in effect, causes me to want even more of God. And I am not going to stop seeking Him above all else.

11 days....

A week from Thursday, about 100 Awaken DTS, and 300 Circuit Riders (click here for Circuit Rider info) will be arriving on base with a hunger for Jesus. This summer is going to be a major outpouring of the Spirit, revelations of Jesus, and heart connections with the Father. I can only imagine all that He is going to do this summer...

Please be praying for

• Staff as we continue to grow and prepare for the students
• The school and that all the Lord wants to do will be fulfilled
• Finances- I will need about $2,500 for outreach [location will be announced mid July :)]

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. And we who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" 2nd Corinthians 3:17-18