Love.

It has been over 2 weeks since we first arrived in Cambodia, and already this beautiful nation has stolen a piece of my heart. After being in the country for just a few days, we headed out to live in a village for the next 12 days.

As we arrived at the orphanage we would be staying at, shy kids peered around door corners to catch a glimpse of 13 new people who would be staying with them. After settling into our new rooms, my coleader and myself sat at a rickety wooden table that the kids eat their meals at, to talk with the pastor of the orphanage. Within minutes, 3 little girls (Nuein, Nead, and Minn) were clambering up me, braiding my hair, playing with my hands, and giggling like there was no tomorrow.

(Minn, Nuien, and Nead)

That night, our team gathered in the church building in the center of the orphanage to meet all the kids. After meeting all the children, one of the most touching moments of my life took place. All the kids gathered around us and for the next 5 minutes, 35 orphaned children prayed with zeal for us, all at once, and all out loud. Not because they had to, but because they love Jesus and they already loved us.

(church time)

The next twelve days were challenging but so incredible. We slept on mats on floors surrounded by mosquito nets, bucket showered with rain water, used squatty potties. Dirt roads, murky water, mud. Bugs. Lots and lots of bugs. Ramen noodles for breakfast, rice and meat for lunch and dinner. Little boys coming home from school, carrying hand picked bouquets for all us ladies. Little girls braiding our hair, intertwined with flowers. Lots of tickling, laughter, and joy. Through out the days, we got to know the stories of all the kids a little bit more. The story of Nead, Da and Kao are one of them.

After their father left the family, their mother turned to alcohol, leaving the 3 of them to fend for themselves. By the age of 4, Nead had learned how to catch rats in rice fields, kill, cook and sell the bodies at the market. They would keep the heads of the rats as their source for food. Her older brothers could build wooden guns to catch and kill the rats quicker. The pastor saw one of the boys running through the fields at night and set out to hear his story. When he found the living conditions they were living in, he quickly gained permission to take them to the orphanage, where they can eat, play, go to school, and encounter the Father's heart. With the amount that beautiful little girl smiles and laughs, you never would have guessed about the life she used to live.

(Me and Nead)

My life is forever changed because of these kids. No fighting, no tears, no drama, no fits. Just love. No games, no toys. Just each other. No mother, no father. Just Jesus. And they love Him with all they got. With so little in the physical and so much in the faith, these kids have become my new heroes.

1 week left

11 weeks ago, 85 people who had never meet before gathered here on this island. They packed their bags, said goodbye to home, and headed out to a giant rock in the middle of the ocean for 6 months to seek the Lord. Leaving all they knew behind, they came here looking for something real, something Divine. Loaded with questions, seeking hearts, and eagerly growing faith, the school began.

It is absolutely amazing looking back and seeing how much God moved in our school. I have watched the most broken of hearts encounter the Father's love for the first time. I have witnessed hardened hearts be softened to the presence of the Holy Spirit. Watching 85 strangers become a family is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. The Lord has been so faithful to each heart, no matter student or staff. We are all His kids, and He has watched out for us, loved us, grown us all this past season. I have had more breakthrough and walking in FREEDOM of being a Daughter than I ever have in my life.

Exactly 1 week from today, I will be heading out with my amaaaaaazing outreach family to Cambodia. We are all quickly gaining His heart for this broken nations and can't wait to get there and share the Love.

Team Fambodia!!!

Our first week there will be spent living in a village, ministering to orphans. After that, we will be staying with the YWAM base in Battambang, the second largest city. We will be partnering with a variety of ministries in the mornings, and focusing on the youth center that the base runs in the afternoon.

Please be praying for

• Protection over travels
• Favor while we travel
• Health while we are there
• Team unity
• That we all gain a bigger heart for Cambodia
• That we stay completely Spirit-led

Thank you so much for all your prayer and support!

A revelation that has been hitting me over and over these past 4 months has been that I am a daughter and nothing more, nothing less. Not only that I am a daughter, but there is absolutely nothing in all of eternity that can strip me of this. It's not a job, it's not a label, it's just what I am. I do not need to earn it, I do not need to strive to keep it, I do not have to worry about losing it. This is something that I have always known, but He keeps taking me deeper into this beautiful place in His heart.

The more He shows me that I am His daughter, the more I want to know Him. The more I want to be with Him. The more I desire to see Him. This supernatural hunger for Him has settled on my heart, and I can't get enough of Him. This burning for Him has driven me to a place of intimacy with the Lord, where my heart connects with His. The world has taken the word "intimacy" and twisted it into something sensual. The correct definition of intimacy is "close familiarity or friendship." The Father is SO GOOD! As much as I want to grow closer to Him more, He wants it a million times more. To rest in this fact will brings so much peace, love, and contentment.

The school has lit on fire and is continually having fuel thrown on it. After a speaker cancelled last week, we had a 50 hour burn of straight worship and prayer, pressing in and seeking Jesus. THe Lord broke so many boxes, it was insane. So much dancing, worship, and laughter. The Lord loves have fun.

Our Cambodia team has been marked with family, they are all amazing!!! We grow closer every week as we gain God's heart for Cambodia. We will be leaving in a month to go to Cambodia and we are getting so excited to see God move there. PLease be keeping us in your prayers as we get ready to leave, thank you so much!

"where you cease, I will begin"

What once began as a simple pluck on my heart strings to grow near Him, has turned into a pull. That pull has drawn me in deep. Deep into Him, deep into intimacy, deep into His presence.

The simple concepts that He wants to show me end up being the very things I complicate the most. Being a daughter to the Father turned into a place of striving and fear of disappointing. It became something organized, my own agenda. Instead of being led by His spirit, I created my own check list that I was sure would take me deeper into His heart. What I thought would bring me closer only lead to a place of being unrestful, unsatisfied, and frustrated.

We were in a time of worship last Friday as a class, and I was going through an internal battle of not being able to tap into the presence that I knew lived in me. I couldn't focus, my mind was scattered, and my heart began to harden a bit. Towards the end, we all laid on the ground to just soak to the music that was being played. I told the Lord that I gave up trying to get closer to Him. I tried everything. I read the right verses, prayed the right words and yet I didn't seem to be where I wanted to be. That was when He spoke. "My Daughter, stop. Only I can take you to those Heavenly places. You can't. So stop, and let me. I want it even more than you, so let me do the work"

It was then that I realized how I had taken my relationship with the Lord into my own hands. I knew where I stood with Him, I knew where I wanted to go deeper, and I thought I knew the best way to achieve that. The desire to be nearer to Him was real, but in striving, I forgot my first and only identity of being His daughter. As I laid on the classroom floor, He showed me a picture of a wall. Not a flimsy drywall, but a thick rock wall held together by concrete. The moment I stopped doing my own thing was when He was able to break a hole into that wall. As the light shone through that broken rock wall, I felt His peace wash over me.

He has spoken so clearly to me a phrase over and over this weekend "Where you cease, I will begin." Where I cease striving, He begins. Where I cease my own agenda, He begins. Where I cease control, He begins.