A friend gave me a verse to read the other day. One that I have read a hundred times, but this time, it was different.
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10.
In the past, when I have read this verse, my thoughts never ventured further than a nice sentiment about God. I never actually took this verse for its meaning. In actuality, this verse consists of 2 commands, commands that I have yet to follow through with.
The first, BE STILL. Absolutely still. I must stop what I am doing. I must put down what I am holding. I must stop moving. I must be still before the Lord. I must give Him my attention. He is my creator, and He deserves more than me trying to multitask Him into my day, which I am more than guilty of.
The second, KNOW. We are called to just know that He is God. To be still and know. Thats it. I make it so much more complicated in my head. But the truth is so simple. We are command to sit and rest in the knowledge that GOD JUST IS.
Not going to lie, it can be really hard to do. To sit still and think about God and nothing else is like asking a 4 year old to sit out of recess. I am alway itching to do something, and there is a busy world around me full of things to do. It doesn't help either that my mind wanders down a new path every 10 seconds. I will start by thinking about God and within a minute I am planning my outfit for a bachelorette party that is still a month away. Taking this verse for the literal meaning is a HUGE lesson in discipline. I am disciplining my mind to focus on something that I will never understand, to put aside the tasks that "need" to be done, to stop thinking about myself for 20 minutes and think about something greater. It's tough, but SO good for my soul. Spending solid time with nothing to distract is an excellent time of growth, because nothing is drowning out His presence, His emotions, His voice, His love.
Support raising- I have gotten my support letters out and have already had a couple responses, yay! Thank you again who have all been supporting me and my decision to go back to YWAM through prayer and financial support. It makes a greater impact than you will ever know.
Prayer- Finances, that I use my time wisely while I am at home, for my fellow staffers as we all get ready to head back in the next couple months, and for the future of our school as we all get ready to be rocked by the Sprit :)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Who Defines Me
My blog title is a work in progress in my own life. I am working on what my own definition of beauty is. For too long I have let this world tell me what beautiful is, and that I don't fit into that description, and I never will. I have beat myself up time and time again for not being thin enough, being too tall, having the wrong kind of hair, not having a perfect nose. You name it, I hated it. I would tear everything apart from my head to my feet, from the number of freckles on my face to the spacing of my toes. Everything of my anatomy has been studied, ridiculed, and declared "not good enough" by my own mind.
Not only would I judge my outward appearance, but my personality as well. Never funny, clever, witty, or smart enough. Always said the wrong thing. I ripped apart everything about myself, in and out, thinking that God somehow made a mistake 21 years ago when He created me to be how I am today. That nobody could possibly love me (besides my family, and that is only because they had to). I was just too awkward, weird, and ugly. The worst lie of all that I heard -I was the only one that had these thoughts. "when he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44). Satan whispers lies to us from the day we were born, and we so easily accept them.
I am DONE listening to the lies that had once run my life. I want to start living my life as the person that I was created to be, not the person that tries to fits into the status quo of this modern world. I want my definition of beauty to be completely pulverized and rebuilt by the One who invented beauty. I will no longer let magazines, television, movies, and other products of our culture define who I am or who I should be. I am much more than a physical body, as are you.
We are BEAUTIFUL. Jesus, the most perfect, unblemished, beautiful thing ever lives within us. We were fearfully and wonderfully made. We are the most perfect thing He has ever created. He didn't put us higher than angels as a fluke, it is because we are his favorites! It makes me so giddy! So lets start living by how the One who lives in us views us. We are nothing with out Him, but with Him we are perfect, whole, wonderful, beautiful.
"For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory" Colossians 3:3-4
Not only would I judge my outward appearance, but my personality as well. Never funny, clever, witty, or smart enough. Always said the wrong thing. I ripped apart everything about myself, in and out, thinking that God somehow made a mistake 21 years ago when He created me to be how I am today. That nobody could possibly love me (besides my family, and that is only because they had to). I was just too awkward, weird, and ugly. The worst lie of all that I heard -I was the only one that had these thoughts. "when he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44). Satan whispers lies to us from the day we were born, and we so easily accept them.
I am DONE listening to the lies that had once run my life. I want to start living my life as the person that I was created to be, not the person that tries to fits into the status quo of this modern world. I want my definition of beauty to be completely pulverized and rebuilt by the One who invented beauty. I will no longer let magazines, television, movies, and other products of our culture define who I am or who I should be. I am much more than a physical body, as are you.
We are BEAUTIFUL. Jesus, the most perfect, unblemished, beautiful thing ever lives within us. We were fearfully and wonderfully made. We are the most perfect thing He has ever created. He didn't put us higher than angels as a fluke, it is because we are his favorites! It makes me so giddy! So lets start living by how the One who lives in us views us. We are nothing with out Him, but with Him we are perfect, whole, wonderful, beautiful.
"For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory" Colossians 3:3-4
Friday, January 28, 2011
The Time Is Now
I read a verse today. It hit a spot in my heart.
"The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now that when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of the darkness and put on the armor of light" Romans 13:11-12.
I need to wake up. I need to realize that I am not going to be here forever. I need to start sharing since it is what God has asked of me. I love knowing my creator, knowing that he cares more about my problems that I do, knowing his plans are infinitely better than my own. That even though there are much bigger issues out there (Haiti, AIDS, world starvation) than my own problems, he cares about me and loves me so much that he sits down with me, talks to me about it, lets me vent, picks me up, carries me. Nothing is too big or to small. He asks us to throw our problems and worries and fears and hopes and dreams on him. And he LOVES to do it! He loves when we call on him, he loves to take on our problems, he loves to co-labor with us. He loves it when we tell him the secrets in our souls, he loves it when we truly share our hearts to Him, not just tell Him what we think He wants to hear. He wants us to wake up and to fully understand what we have in Him, who we truly are.
"Now if we are children, then we are heirs- heirs of God, and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory" Romans 8:17.
He is waiting for us to walk in our true identity. He is waiting to share His glory. He is waiting for us to realize that no matter what we have done, he has erased it. When we accept that, we become heirs. We become princes and princesses. Heaven is waiting for us. And its REAL. It is something that we will experience one day. It is not just a distant hope, but a place that awaits us. We all need to walk in the knowledge that we were created for something more than 100 years on this earth. Our identity is in Heaven. No matter who you are, or what you have done. There is no exception. There is no ifs, ands, or buts. We are all called to be royalty.
We need to get to know Jesus before we can share Him. How can we share something we don't know about? All those questions deep down that we have about Him, he is waiting to answer. All we need to do ask. So ask away. Ask all you want. Don't hold back. He already knows those questions, since he put them there, which means He has the answers. Now is the time to be asking questions. Now is the time to seek his face. There could never be a more perfect time! He is waiting.
"The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now that when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of the darkness and put on the armor of light" Romans 13:11-12.
I need to wake up. I need to realize that I am not going to be here forever. I need to start sharing since it is what God has asked of me. I love knowing my creator, knowing that he cares more about my problems that I do, knowing his plans are infinitely better than my own. That even though there are much bigger issues out there (Haiti, AIDS, world starvation) than my own problems, he cares about me and loves me so much that he sits down with me, talks to me about it, lets me vent, picks me up, carries me. Nothing is too big or to small. He asks us to throw our problems and worries and fears and hopes and dreams on him. And he LOVES to do it! He loves when we call on him, he loves to take on our problems, he loves to co-labor with us. He loves it when we tell him the secrets in our souls, he loves it when we truly share our hearts to Him, not just tell Him what we think He wants to hear. He wants us to wake up and to fully understand what we have in Him, who we truly are.
"Now if we are children, then we are heirs- heirs of God, and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory" Romans 8:17.
He is waiting for us to walk in our true identity. He is waiting to share His glory. He is waiting for us to realize that no matter what we have done, he has erased it. When we accept that, we become heirs. We become princes and princesses. Heaven is waiting for us. And its REAL. It is something that we will experience one day. It is not just a distant hope, but a place that awaits us. We all need to walk in the knowledge that we were created for something more than 100 years on this earth. Our identity is in Heaven. No matter who you are, or what you have done. There is no exception. There is no ifs, ands, or buts. We are all called to be royalty.
We need to get to know Jesus before we can share Him. How can we share something we don't know about? All those questions deep down that we have about Him, he is waiting to answer. All we need to do ask. So ask away. Ask all you want. Don't hold back. He already knows those questions, since he put them there, which means He has the answers. Now is the time to be asking questions. Now is the time to seek his face. There could never be a more perfect time! He is waiting.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
2 years ago, I hear about YWAM. I was distant from God.
1 Year ago, I thought more about YWAM. Still distant from God, and getting angry about it.
7 months ago, I was probably freaking out about packing for Kona, looking forward to a heart change.
4 months ago, I said goodbye to all my amazing friends from DTS, and took off for Haiti. I was much more aware of my Creator's presence in my life.
1 month ago, I stepped back into my life in Wheaton, Illinois. Completely different.
I still can't believe all that has taken place in my life in the past year. I was trying to decide what school I wanted to go to at this point down the road in 2010. Now here I stand, having gone to Hawaii, Haiti, and completely, fully, unashamedly in love. (and tan). The Lord has been so good to me. So much grace, it abounds to no end. I will never understand it. Ephesians 3:17-19 says it all. "..I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." We are called to be firmly rooted in love. Everything we do, everything we say, must be done out of love. We can only accomplish this by knowing the ultimate Love. Get to know Him, He won't let you down. Don't let your first try getting to know Him be your last try. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9.
He will reward our every effort to get to know Him. So I will continue to do so, all the rest of my days.
1 Year ago, I thought more about YWAM. Still distant from God, and getting angry about it.
7 months ago, I was probably freaking out about packing for Kona, looking forward to a heart change.
4 months ago, I said goodbye to all my amazing friends from DTS, and took off for Haiti. I was much more aware of my Creator's presence in my life.
1 month ago, I stepped back into my life in Wheaton, Illinois. Completely different.
I still can't believe all that has taken place in my life in the past year. I was trying to decide what school I wanted to go to at this point down the road in 2010. Now here I stand, having gone to Hawaii, Haiti, and completely, fully, unashamedly in love. (and tan). The Lord has been so good to me. So much grace, it abounds to no end. I will never understand it. Ephesians 3:17-19 says it all. "..I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." We are called to be firmly rooted in love. Everything we do, everything we say, must be done out of love. We can only accomplish this by knowing the ultimate Love. Get to know Him, He won't let you down. Don't let your first try getting to know Him be your last try. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9.
He will reward our every effort to get to know Him. So I will continue to do so, all the rest of my days.
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