To sum it all up

Of the past 3 months, I can’t tell you how many pounds of rice I have eaten, baby wipes I used, or bugs I have accidently swallowed. I still can’t count past 10 in Khmer or carry on a conversation beyond “hello”. I can’t even begin to describe the smell of the meat market or what its like to ride your bike in Battambang traffic, and I am pretty sure dirt is permanently embedded in the soles of my feet.

(market food)

But I can try to convey how incredible this chapter of my life has been. To say that God has amazed me would be an understatement. From the first week in the village to the last goodbye at the bus station, He has never stopped pouring out His peace, joy, grace, faithfulness, strength, provision, wisdom and protection over myself and my Fambodia.

The people of Cambodia are some of the most giving, joyful, hopeful people I have ever met. Many have close to nothing, yet they would offer you the shirt off their back if you needed one. Even as I write this on the bus to Phnom Pehn, the pregnant woman seated next to me offers me a bite of her spring roll with a smile, even though we have never met before.

In the last 2 weeks of outreach, I started to hang out with 2 older women (the mom and aunt of a friend) in the slum across from our base. Their home was made of wood and a tin roof upon stilts to avoid the floods that come with monsoon season. They sleep on bamboo mats, have river water delivered into giant clay pots so they can shower, and keep their possessions in since they have no room for shelves. The aunt makes money by sewing children’s shirts out of worn out adult clothes. Each shirt takes 2 hours to make and are sold for 50 cents at the market. Whenever I came to visit, they made sure I left with a belly full of rice and soup. They made me laugh, even though we don’t speak the same language. They ask me to pray for them, even though they do not believe in God. Hope, hope, hope.

The Lord was true to His promises He made my co-leader and I earlier this year and marked our team with unity and joy in abundance. 6 months ago, we met as strangers. 3 months ago, we came here as friends. Today, we leave as family. I will forever be thankful for the lives of these 12 and that the God had their paths cross mine. The memories of family bike rides, mandatory fun nights, and family banter at the dinner table will always bring me joy.

(family bike picture)

My own heart has undergone a major transformation. My trust in the Lord was put to the test more than once and is now stronger than ever before. I relied way too much on my weak human strength and when it failed, His abiding strength would catch me. The reality of Jesus and His heart for every single child of His on this globe has been awakened in my spirit. Not a single Khmer person was born to worship a mute, deaf, and emotionless god, and then fade out of existence when life here on earth ends. Every single body has a soul. Every soul has a Maker and every soul was meant to meet that Maker. And that is my prayer for this world, that sleepy souls will be awakened.

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, for all your prayers and support! The Lord did SOOOO MUCH and we were protected the whole time, thank to all the prayer coverage we had. It means the world to me to have the support from friends and family :)

I am blessed to be sitting in an air-conditioned room, enjoying ice water and cream cheese wontons with a TV radiating light from above. I glance out the 2^nd story window and am reminded that right outside, people are no where near as fortune as I. Take a right outside the front doors of Café Eden, hang another right on the first street, and about 2 blocks down on the left hand side, make a stop. There you will find 12 young Khmer boys, homeless, dirty, and high off of glue-sniffing. Some abandoned and the rest homeless by choice, these 12 now call this street corner their home. Aging from 16 to 20, they roam the city during the day, asking for spare change, or take a hit off glue fumes, trying to escape the pains of life for just a few hours.

After being asked for change by them last week, Kim, a girl on my team, invited them to our Wednesday Night Gathering (basically, a church service) at the YWAM base. Surprisingly, all 12 showed up, suspicions guarding their faces, not knowing what to expect. After the gathering ended, some of the guards fell to the wayside and they began to chatter outside of their clan a bit. They left with bellies full of corn, and logan fruit, some even grinning and waving goodbye. After a few days of planning, 4 of us showed up to their “home” Saturday, arms filled with bags of rice and meat-on-a-stick. No picture can capture their surprised delight. No words can express the way my heart strings were plucked.

That night with them was more than a reality check. I can leave this nation. They can’t. I can go to the store and pick up whatever food I was craving. They can’t. I can call my parents and tell them I love them. They can’t. It is moments like these that keep me going. It is the reason my heart is filled to the brim with thanks. It is what spurs me forward when all I want to do is quit. To see warmth light up their eyes and hope dance across their faces adds new sparks to the flame that is already in my spirit.

I long for the day when I won't wonder how many kids have empty stomachs, or how many are hardened from years of abuse, or how many are orphaned because sickness has claimed their parents. My heart burns for it, to see a generation who knows their identity as Heavenly Royalty. If it is this strong on my broken, feeble, human heart, how much more can it be on our Father's?

I am thankful to my Father for how He has provided in abundance my entire life.

I am saturated with hope for what God can do in these kids’ lives.

I am carrying a soul full of Fire, ready to see His Kingdom come to this earth.

"No place I'd rather be, than here in Your love. So set a fire down in my soul that I can't contain and I can't control. I want more of you God"

These lyrics by the United Pursuit Band have been my prayer over this past year. How faithful the Lord is to answer the deepest cries of my heart. He has been incredibly faithful to the desires of my soul, to be taken deeper in the Spirit, for Him to be my teacher, the first love of my life. To open my eyes more to how He moves in the world, from the biggest to the smallest of ways.

It can be a challenge, to wait on the Lord for prayers that have been prayed for what seems like eons. To not give up but to keep pressing in because you still have that tiny strand of hope that He will still answer, even when all is quiet. And just when it seems like He won't, He opens your eyes to the ways He has been moving during your entire life, all for you so you can bring Him more praise.

One of these ways I saw Him pour out faithfulness was back in the village when we were staying at the orphanage. A few days before we left, for some random reason, an ice cream truck was driving down the dirt road. Sunny, a girl on our team, saw it, flagged it down, and we had all the kids come meet us on the road. All the kids got ice cream that day, some for the very first time.




Squeals of delight came from behind me as I stood in front of the truck. Nead and Minn came flying out form the back of the village, racing through the front gates with water dripping from their hair. Of course there was no time to dry off after a shower when there was ice cream! The joy that lit their faces up was indescribable. The ways that He is faithful to even the little prayers for ice cream is so sweet.



We have truly been seeing the Faithful heart of God here. Our classes are all going great. We have started to make friends with them and other locals, building up relationships and going deeper. Our team unity is still amazing and we are all becoming more of a family by the minute. With outreach half way over, we are seeking His heart for more of what He wants to do with us while we are here.

Thank you for all of you prayers and support while we are out here! They mean more than words can describe.

Love.

It has been over 2 weeks since we first arrived in Cambodia, and already this beautiful nation has stolen a piece of my heart. After being in the country for just a few days, we headed out to live in a village for the next 12 days.

As we arrived at the orphanage we would be staying at, shy kids peered around door corners to catch a glimpse of 13 new people who would be staying with them. After settling into our new rooms, my coleader and myself sat at a rickety wooden table that the kids eat their meals at, to talk with the pastor of the orphanage. Within minutes, 3 little girls (Nuein, Nead, and Minn) were clambering up me, braiding my hair, playing with my hands, and giggling like there was no tomorrow.

(Minn, Nuien, and Nead)

That night, our team gathered in the church building in the center of the orphanage to meet all the kids. After meeting all the children, one of the most touching moments of my life took place. All the kids gathered around us and for the next 5 minutes, 35 orphaned children prayed with zeal for us, all at once, and all out loud. Not because they had to, but because they love Jesus and they already loved us.

(church time)

The next twelve days were challenging but so incredible. We slept on mats on floors surrounded by mosquito nets, bucket showered with rain water, used squatty potties. Dirt roads, murky water, mud. Bugs. Lots and lots of bugs. Ramen noodles for breakfast, rice and meat for lunch and dinner. Little boys coming home from school, carrying hand picked bouquets for all us ladies. Little girls braiding our hair, intertwined with flowers. Lots of tickling, laughter, and joy. Through out the days, we got to know the stories of all the kids a little bit more. The story of Nead, Da and Kao are one of them.

After their father left the family, their mother turned to alcohol, leaving the 3 of them to fend for themselves. By the age of 4, Nead had learned how to catch rats in rice fields, kill, cook and sell the bodies at the market. They would keep the heads of the rats as their source for food. Her older brothers could build wooden guns to catch and kill the rats quicker. The pastor saw one of the boys running through the fields at night and set out to hear his story. When he found the living conditions they were living in, he quickly gained permission to take them to the orphanage, where they can eat, play, go to school, and encounter the Father's heart. With the amount that beautiful little girl smiles and laughs, you never would have guessed about the life she used to live.

(Me and Nead)

My life is forever changed because of these kids. No fighting, no tears, no drama, no fits. Just love. No games, no toys. Just each other. No mother, no father. Just Jesus. And they love Him with all they got. With so little in the physical and so much in the faith, these kids have become my new heroes.