Carrie is a woman I met yesterday at the rock wall by the ocean. 4 of us were sitting down, and Carrie and her friend John walked up to us. They were older, they were friendly, they were drunk. At 3 in the afternoon.
The guys talked to John while Shawna and I talked to Carrie. We both instantly saw the desperate desire for love in her eyes. The cracks in her heart. She was in so much need of healthy attention, healthy love, a friend, a shoulder to cry on, truth. As she told parts of her story to us, my heart cracked. The more she talked, the wider the crack got. The more she shared, the louder my prayers were in my soul. Here sat a woman who had no idea who she was. She was lost. Her relationship with her family is broken, she hasn't been sober in 10 years, and she was thirsty for something real. Something that will last.
She bared a bit of her soul to us, a bit of the innocent and broken child of God that has been buried by alcohol and drugs. As she spoke, she played with my bracelets, rested her head on Shawna's shoulder. We offered to pray for her and she took it up. Only a few words were spoken before tears rolled down her cheeks. She was so in need of this love. So in need to hear that she was worth something. That she was loved. She was not forgotten. Her cries were heard.
Carrie represents so many lost people of our culture. These children of God are broken, beaten, filled with lies, mistreated. And all they want is a true relationship. What would the world looked like if these children heard what was true? What their real Father thinks of them?
According to Carrie, she is a drunk. Worthless. Dumb. Sick. This is what she has been told. This is what she believes.
According to Jesus, Carrie is beautiful. Worth it. Precious. A Daughter. This is truth.
The battle to share the truth is on.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Known.
"Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God—or rather are known by God..." Galatians 4:8-9a.
That five letter word carries so much weight. Known.
To be known. To be aware of. To be certain. To recognize.
God Knows us. Inside and out.
He is aware of us. Of our every movement.
He is certain we are His. Never will let us go.
He recognizes us. Because He hears our voice.
We only know the small part of God that has revealed himself to us. But He knows us in full. He knows us more than we know Him. He knows us more than we know our selves. When we are at a loss for words, when we are speechless, when we are hurt and raw, when we are happy beyond words, he knows. No explanation necessary. No long story to get your point across. No awkward silences.
You are known. You are loved. You are cherished.
That five letter word carries so much weight. Known.
To be known. To be aware of. To be certain. To recognize.
God Knows us. Inside and out.
He is aware of us. Of our every movement.
He is certain we are His. Never will let us go.
He recognizes us. Because He hears our voice.
We only know the small part of God that has revealed himself to us. But He knows us in full. He knows us more than we know Him. He knows us more than we know our selves. When we are at a loss for words, when we are speechless, when we are hurt and raw, when we are happy beyond words, he knows. No explanation necessary. No long story to get your point across. No awkward silences.
You are known. You are loved. You are cherished.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Kona kona kona!
I finally made it back to the Big Island yesterday after a fantastic visit with my family in Arizona. Thank you so much for all your prayers for safety!
Since being back, all in just 1 day, the Lord has already laid much on my heart for what is going to be done this year. Community is going to be huge. We are going to become a big, loud, fun, loving, growing, encouraging family. Personally, He is going to show me more and more of who I am in Him. I need no one else, just Him. He is going to show me who I am in Him, who I am to others around me, how He is going to use me.
Back to basics. He is going to take me back to the basics with Him. I love Kona and YWAM. I truly do. However, even though it is a Christian community, it can be very distracting. I do not want to confuse being surrounded by amazing friends, awesome worship, and listening to spirit filled speakers as growing closer to God. That is all happening on the outside, and I want the change to be on the inside. So we're going back to the basics of just HIm and Me. Just Jesus and Kristi. I'm so pumped to see where I am going to be by the end of this year. In just 6 short months, God did so much. I can't even imagine what He is going to do for the next 9.
Israel- The Lord is moving! As we draw closer to the time to go, we have been pressing in and seeing what God has in store for us while we are there. A common theme that we have gotten is that God is going to impart on us to bring back to the Awaken school. We do not know what this is or what it looks like, but we are stoked to find out what it is. We are in need of a guy worship leader to go with us, so please be praying that God brings one to us :)
Finances- The cost for Israel will be around $2,500. Please be praying that this comes in! I know it will! Thank you so so so much to everyone who has contributed to by journey with YWAM. It means more to me then you know.
My address here in Kona is
University of the Nations
75-5851 Kuakini Hwy #318
Kailua-kona, Hi 96740
Cookies are completely welcomed :)
Since being back, all in just 1 day, the Lord has already laid much on my heart for what is going to be done this year. Community is going to be huge. We are going to become a big, loud, fun, loving, growing, encouraging family. Personally, He is going to show me more and more of who I am in Him. I need no one else, just Him. He is going to show me who I am in Him, who I am to others around me, how He is going to use me.
Back to basics. He is going to take me back to the basics with Him. I love Kona and YWAM. I truly do. However, even though it is a Christian community, it can be very distracting. I do not want to confuse being surrounded by amazing friends, awesome worship, and listening to spirit filled speakers as growing closer to God. That is all happening on the outside, and I want the change to be on the inside. So we're going back to the basics of just HIm and Me. Just Jesus and Kristi. I'm so pumped to see where I am going to be by the end of this year. In just 6 short months, God did so much. I can't even imagine what He is going to do for the next 9.
Israel- The Lord is moving! As we draw closer to the time to go, we have been pressing in and seeing what God has in store for us while we are there. A common theme that we have gotten is that God is going to impart on us to bring back to the Awaken school. We do not know what this is or what it looks like, but we are stoked to find out what it is. We are in need of a guy worship leader to go with us, so please be praying that God brings one to us :)
Finances- The cost for Israel will be around $2,500. Please be praying that this comes in! I know it will! Thank you so so so much to everyone who has contributed to by journey with YWAM. It means more to me then you know.
My address here in Kona is
University of the Nations
75-5851 Kuakini Hwy #318
Kailua-kona, Hi 96740
Cookies are completely welcomed :)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Rejoice for disgrace
"His speech persuaded them. They called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Messiah." Acts 5:40-42
The apostles were performing miracles and speaking truth.The people heard, saw, and believed. The Sadducees were enraged by this, and sent them to prison. These men of Jesus were held behind bars, their bodies beaten, mocked in every way, all because the high priests and his friends were jealous of what they had. Yet when the apostles were released, they became filled with joy because they were persecuted for the proclaiming the name of Jesus. Despite what they had just endured, they never stopped sharing the Good News. They knew what would happen if they continued to share the Love of Jesus, but they never stopped.
Can I say I would do the same? Would I willingly have my freedom stripped of me, my flesh torn, my dignity taken, be disgraced, all for the sake of a name? Would I joyfully do it again and again and again? Would I go to every corner of every city, door to door, person to person, proclaiming the love of Jesus, knowing what kind of suffering awaited me?
I pray that I would. I would never ask to be put in a position like that, but I pray that if it ever came down to it, that my faith in the Holy Spirit within me would keep me strong, joyful, and willing. Even though I am blessed enough to live in a nation where I would not be imprisoned for my beliefs, I still pray for that fiery passion that can not and will not be put out.
We are called to have this urgency that the apostles had every day no matter the nation we are in, free or broken. We should be willing to endure hardship all the time, not only when we are in a "forbidden" place. Our passion should be stirred up just knowing there are places like this that must hear about the Savior. It should be stirred knowing that there is something so Great in our lives that some countries try to force it out of their nation. Those are the countries that would explode in the Spirit, and Satan knows it. Hence, illegal Christianity.
So let us go forth with urgency. Let us go forth with knowledge. Let us go forth, being led by the Sprit. Let us go forth, willing to be considered disgraced for a Name.
"Do not put out the Spirit's fire" 1 Thessalonians 5:19
The apostles were performing miracles and speaking truth.The people heard, saw, and believed. The Sadducees were enraged by this, and sent them to prison. These men of Jesus were held behind bars, their bodies beaten, mocked in every way, all because the high priests and his friends were jealous of what they had. Yet when the apostles were released, they became filled with joy because they were persecuted for the proclaiming the name of Jesus. Despite what they had just endured, they never stopped sharing the Good News. They knew what would happen if they continued to share the Love of Jesus, but they never stopped.
Can I say I would do the same? Would I willingly have my freedom stripped of me, my flesh torn, my dignity taken, be disgraced, all for the sake of a name? Would I joyfully do it again and again and again? Would I go to every corner of every city, door to door, person to person, proclaiming the love of Jesus, knowing what kind of suffering awaited me?
I pray that I would. I would never ask to be put in a position like that, but I pray that if it ever came down to it, that my faith in the Holy Spirit within me would keep me strong, joyful, and willing. Even though I am blessed enough to live in a nation where I would not be imprisoned for my beliefs, I still pray for that fiery passion that can not and will not be put out.
We are called to have this urgency that the apostles had every day no matter the nation we are in, free or broken. We should be willing to endure hardship all the time, not only when we are in a "forbidden" place. Our passion should be stirred up just knowing there are places like this that must hear about the Savior. It should be stirred knowing that there is something so Great in our lives that some countries try to force it out of their nation. Those are the countries that would explode in the Spirit, and Satan knows it. Hence, illegal Christianity.
So let us go forth with urgency. Let us go forth with knowledge. Let us go forth, being led by the Sprit. Let us go forth, willing to be considered disgraced for a Name.
"Do not put out the Spirit's fire" 1 Thessalonians 5:19
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